


A Strange Pink Flavour

by badlifechoices



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Hulk Sex, M/M, everything's entirely consensual, no actual dubcon, the hulk is actually a big softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:11:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3330509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badlifechoices/pseuds/badlifechoices
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony experiments with the Nerve Toxin Sam used to take out the Hulk during 'Nighthawk' (S2Ep6) but of course something goes wrong. Because things always go wrong when the Avengers are involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Strange Pink Flavour

**Author's Note:**

> Commission for the wonderful Caity! 
> 
> I'm still taking commissions, please take a look: http://legolastheprettiestelf.tumblr.com/post/110014768302/fanfic-commissions

The explosion in one of the labs could be heard throughout the entire tower. Even on the common floor several stories above, the floor was shaking and the faint sound of shattering glass drowned out the television. Within seconds he was on his feet, holding onto the back of the couch to steady himself. His first instinct was to go for his bow case on the table in case they were actually under attack this time – not that many people dared to attack the tower directly but it had happened more frequently in the last weeks. The credit for that probably went to the Squadron Supreme given they were out for all of their heads. There was no alarm though. The noise from downstairs died down and the floor stopped shaking. The shrill sirens that indicated a threat to the towers and the Avengers stayed silent.

Which was probably a good thing. With the Captain being away on his own business, Natasha probably on some kind of top secret assignment she couldn’t even tell him about and Sam having disappeared earlier that day, Clint suspected he was visiting his mum, there were only three Avengers left. Thor was probably either in Asgard or with his scientist girlfriend. And he had no idea what Tony or the big guy were up to.

“And here I was complaining about it being boring… I should keep my mouth shut next time.” He muttered to himself while reaching for the sunglasses he rarely took off. Not because he thought he’d need them, it was just a habit, a quirk of his that he never really tried to get rid of. Also it looked cool. Better than some stupid mask that did nothing but narrow down one’s field of vision. _No offence Cap._

Still, Clint couldn’t help but feel uneasy. Slinging his quiver over his shoulder and with his bow in hand he slipped through the hidden door behind the lift. He always preferred to use the stairs instead of the lift even though Stark insisted it was completely safe. The archer simply didn’t trust it especially if there was an emergency. Enough people had managed to hack into the AI and he didn’t want to end up stuck in a lift of all places while all the action was going down somewhere else. No thank you.

“Jarvis? What’s going on?” JARVIS was another thing he still wasn’t exactly used to but the AI came in handy at times. Though why Stark programmed it with a British accent was a mystery to him. Probably because he read too many Batman comics as a kid and thought that every rich hero ought to have a British butler…

“There seems to have been an explosion in lab section three, Mister Barton. It was most likely caused by an internal malfunction though I have no data on this as of yet.”

So no attack. No HYDRA or AIM or crazy supervillain coming to take them out. Definitely a relief. “Everyone alright down there?” He’d almost reached the fifth floor by then and passed two doors that one – from the other side – could only open with an iris scan. It really was an annoyance for people in a hurry but according to Stark the only way to keep people from stealing his inventions. There were two more on the third and fourth floor to keep everyone out who wasn’t part of the Avengers or Pepper. Why he decided to make the first two floors accessible for civilians in the first place was another riddle Clint had no interest in solving. It wasn’t that he personally disliked Stark or his affinity for the public but he was used to working as a spy. Having his identity broadcasted like this really did nothing to reassure him.

“Mister Stark and the Hulk were in the laboratory at the time of the accident. I have no reports on their wellbeing. However I have a standing order from Mister Stark not to call for help unless instructed otherwise.” The metallic voice accompanied him as he made his way down to the fourth floor only to find himself surrounded by chaos. The shrill beeping of various machines echoed through the hallway that was filled by some kind of thick, pinkish smoke. Broken pipes were sticking out of the wall and releasing more steam into the air. Clint frowned.

“Knock, knock? Anyone there?” He called, slowly closing in on the first door to the left. “Seriously guys, I know you love my company but you should’ve just called…”

Suddenly he spotted Tony in the wall of smoke. The man had searched shelter under one of the metallic tables and seemed to be feverishly typing something on his StarkPad. When Clint called out again, he raised his head and gesticulated with his hands.

“I damned sure didn’t call for you Birdie. But now that you’re here would you be so kind and see if you can find our little green friend?” The archer only raised an eyebrow.

“You misplaced the big guy?” It usually wasn’t very hard to find the Hulk, given he kind of stood out. Tony only shrugged helplessly and crawled out from under his table.

“What were you even doing down here?” Not that he had any business in it but if Hulk was missing it rarely meant anything good and it was probably better to know what exactly Stark had done to him.

“I was experimenting with the nerve poison Sam came up with. Our Jolly Green Giant agreed to let me test it on him and it seems I accidentally shortcut one of my instruments. End of story. Now if you would use your birdbrain and stop standing there like you got nothing better to do that’d be amazing.”

Clint shrugged. Yeah like it was no biggie to look for an eight foot tall ball of rage. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. Because things always went wrong when they were involved. What if the guy was having another fit and decided that downtown New York was an eyesore and had to be refurbished? But he didn’t get the chance to come up with any more horror scenarios. A weird sound caught his attention, a sound akin to that of something breaking or maybe being ripped apart.

Too late did he notice the cracks in the ceiling or even choose to look up. All of a sudden he heard a loud roar – found the Hulk, tag you’re it – and milliseconds later something very big and very green crashed into him. He didn’t even have the time to spit out the ‘what the fuck’ burning on his tongue because his face was smashed ungently into the crook of the Hulk’s neck. Oh wow, at least he was dying, hugged to death by the big guy instead of being turned into a pancake by Tony Stark’s ceiling…

 

“Cupid okay?” The low voice sounded weirdly concerned. He was still being held close, too close and all he could get out was a choked off ‘Heh’.

He was alive but if the other guy kept holding him like that he wouldn’t be for much longer. Funny, how trivial breathing appeared until the moment when you kind of really needed some air. Repeatedly hitting his saviour’s shoulder seemed to get across the point and the grip around him loosened. The other still didn’t let him go but at least now he could fill his lungs with dearly needed oxygen again.

“Thanks.” That was all he could force his vocal chords to produce as he tried to figure out if all of his limbs were still in place. Clint wasn’t sure if he could actually feel his right leg but other than that he seemed to be okay. No bones broken, no rips piercing his lungs and it kind of surprised him. Before he could say or do anything else, the Hulk simply lifted him up on both his arms and made for the other end of the corridor. The archer eyed him warily, surprised by his sudden protectiveness. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t known that the big guy could be gentle if he wanted. How else would he manage to keep an entire room full of fragile glass figures without ever accidentally breaking one? But he had never seen him like this either.

The Hulk grunted and made his way through the smoke and towards the door all the while he kept holding the archer to his chest just like he was another one of his tiny glass statuettes. Maybe it was because of the stuff Tony had experimented with, he remembered the effect it had had last time: Causing the big guy to simply drop out cold. Maybe it made him a bit more… docile this time? Clint inwardly shook his head. This was insane. But then again, he had noticed a slight change in the big guy’s behaviour as of late. Nothing stark but despite what people might think he was still a trained spy and he noticed even the tiny differences. He didn’t think it was anything important though: That he hesitated a tiny moment before running off to smash things or that he didn’t threaten to murder Clint whenever he stole the last cookie. His stupid jokes remained unanswered every other hour and the last time he came back _slightly injured_ from a solo mission his friend had seemed more worried than usually. But he had blamed it on the Hulk getting used to him and his company and on the fact that they worked quite well together. They were teamed up more often than not and it was only natural to care about one’s partner, right?

“You know you can let me down now?” He looked up only to find a weirdly grim expression on his friend’s face. Not that he tried to describe the Hulk’s expressions very often but it looked out of place. Better than the mildly insane ‘Hulk Smash’ grin though.

The Hulk only let him down once they were safely out of the corridor but even then he kept hovering over him. “Cupid hurt?” He asked, after glancing at the door to the hallway again, like he wasn’t sure whether or not he should go back to look for Tony. The archer shook his head.

“I’m good. But I’m afraid we have casualties…” He took off his sunglasses and pulled a face as he examined the cracks in the purple glass. “No need to worry, I have another pair.” He squinted into the too bright, artificial light as he looked up again.

“You ok big guy? Not feeling dizzy or anything or like you want to adopt a kitten?” The Hulk stared at him like he couldn’t believe Clint for making jokes in this kind of situation. But then again, everything he did when he was not busy shooting people was making jokes and they were always hilarious, in his opinion anyway. “Two kittens?”

“Hulk not hurt. Hulk feeling weird. But no kittens.”

“I don’t think the place is suitable for pets anyway, I mean apart from you two obviously.” A third voice chimed in and only moments later a very dirty Tony Stark joined them. “Thank you for worrying about me by the way, it’s very kind of you how you rushed to my aid.” The genius glared at both of them and tried to brush some of the dust off his shoulders, without success.

Clint shrugged. “You’re welcome.” Then he nodded towards the Hulk. “You got anything to make him stop feeling weird?”

The genius glanced from the big guy to the archer and back, then made a face as though he had tried to swallow a lemon, whole. “Kind of lost it in the rubble?” He ducked when the Hulk grunted again but to everyone’s surprise only reached out to pat Tony’s shoulder.

“Hulk not angry at Tinman” He nodded slowly.

Clint scrambled back to his feet. “Well, I guess you don’t need me anymore. I have an episode of Dog Cops waiting for me upstairs…”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Tony grabbed his arm to keep him from ascending the stairs again. “Someone’s got to look out for Greenie here while I work on the antidote.”

“And what does that have to do with me? It’s your mess, Stark, not mine.”

“I’ll make you a new bow? A cooler one? He likes you better than me anyway. Also he kind of saved your life just now you owe him as much.”

Clint was about to object but then stopped himself. Then he shrugged again. “Okay. But I’ll hold you to the bow later.” Technically Tony was right, the Hulk did save his life. He also didn’t particularly mind hanging out with him for a while especially if he was like this; he just liked to argue with Stark. For once being the one who had something the tech genius wanted was a very nice feeling indeed. “Come on big guy, we still have some popcorn left.” He gestured for his team mate and the Hulk followed him without complaint _. And he was humming? Seriously?_

 

The archer only noticed that he had completely forgotten to ask what kind of other effects the poison had now that Tony had gotten his hands on it. _One couldn’t deny that he was a genius but his experiments often turned out to make things worse rather than better_. For a brief moment he wondered whatever Stark was trying to do in the first place but then he figured that it didn’t really concern him. As long as they had an antidote at hand to make sure no one managed to take out the big guy again it should be alright.

If Clint thought the Hulk had been downright tactile before, he had underestimated whatever effect the toxin had on him. They did end up on the couch, munching popcorn out of a huge plastic bowl and watching what was doubtlessly his favourite TV show. Or at least he was watching because the Hulk was obviously kind of busy patting his head. Once again it was strangely gentle and he almost felt as though he really was one of those tiny glass figurines. Maybe the Hulk really saw him as one? Compared to him he was small and downright breakable, something that had to be treated carefully at least if you had a fighting weight of over 1000 lbs. Somehow it felt nice though, in a weird and completely crazy way it was relaxing even to be petted like that.

“You trust Hulk?” Clint looked up into those almost eerily green eyes only to be met with a strangely earnest expression.

“’Course I do.” He muttered instinctively in response. Trust was an issue he usually didn’t talk about with people. Of course he trusted his team to an extent. He trusted them to have his back in the field. They’d never be able to work together if he didn’t. He trusted Natasha but it was complicated. And Hulk, yes, he guessed he did trust him, simply because he was probably the only one who didn’t have any kind of ulterior motive for hanging out with him.

“Hulk trust Hawkeye?” Clint asked back, more because he was really bad at serious conversations and the whole thinking thing was making him itchy. Much more so than the arms that were now wrapped around him or the warmth of him against his side. If Hulk was feeling cuddly, then it was alright for them to cuddle though it should probably bother him how okay he was with the whole thing. But he decided to just not think about it too much or at least not until the situation was resolved.

As an answer to his question he got the widest smile he’d seen on the green man’s face so far and another slow and serious nod. “Hulk trusts Cupid. Cupid is Hulk’s favourite.” With that he leant down to kiss the top of Clint’s head in an affectionate gesture. The archer hummed and allowed the other to pull him just a tiny bit closer. At this point he was kind of grateful that none of the others were around and Tony was obviously still busy with the antidote. It was probably due to his condition but the Hulk was really warm. And he smelled sweetly?

“Hey buddy, what exactly did Stark do to you?” The big guy cocked his head.

“Tested experiment? Tinman promised me cookies in return.” Of course, that explained why the other would actually volunteer to be part of an experiment like that. Though it spoke volumes about how much he must trust Tony too given his previous experiences with being used for experiments.

“Yeah like what? Did he give you something to eat or…”

“Pink spray. Smelled weird tasted weirder.” And _that_ probably explained the sweet scent. He’d almost suspected it. But it was kind of a nice smell, maybe a bit too flowery for his taste but not too bad. “You still feeling weird?”

“Not when with Cupid.” And there really had to be something in this stuff that did not only affect the Hulk because Clint didn’t even find himself protesting when the Hulk kissed his cheek this time. Instead he turned his head enough so he could actually capture his lips. It was the strangest sensation, those big, very warm lips against his own. They weren’t as soft as a normal human’s lips but they felt strangely good. And they really did taste weirdly sweet. Obviously because Stark managed to get his substance all over them too. And it probably really wasn’t the best idea to actively get in contact with it but at the moment he really couldn’t care less.

The Hulk’s arms tightened their hold around him but not too much. He was still being careful not to hurt the tiny human Clint was to him. And it really was the weirdest but not the most unpleasant feeling. The Hulk even tried to kiss him back even though his efforts were slightly clumsy and Clint wondered for a moment how the other could possibly have any experience with this. Maybe it was Bruce’s memories that he could also access? And like that he knew how to do such things? Because the hand wandering up his back definitely knew where it was going. Dimly he realised how easily those fingers could snap his neck, it wouldn’t even require much of an effort. But they simply curled around the nape of his neck and gently stroked the skin there as though it was something completely normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a man with a gamma radiation induced mutation and his team mate making out on the couch in the middle of the living room the Avengers shared. Nothing to see here at all.

Clint couldn’t help but grin as he pulled back slightly. This was one hell of a strange day and it probably, definitely couldn’t get any stranger than this. Nothing could ever posibly top snogging the Hulk. But then he remembered that technically the other was still on drugs and it really wasn’t morally right to do anything in this situation because, yes, even if it was the Hulk it was still drugs and he was obviously not in his right mind. Or something of the sort.

“You know this is all Stark’s fault. He got you high on this stuff and now you’re all cuddly.” He cleared his throat and attempted to focus on the TV again but the other male wouldn’t have any of it. Instead he simply picked him up and placed him square on his lap.

“Hulk not doing this because drugs. I like Cupid. Like him more than anything else. Thought about this for a long time.” Clint looked at him in surprise. A ‘long time’ ago he didn’t actually think the Hulk was able to concentrate on anything for very long but he had learnt better over the months of working with him. That he would actually ponder over his feelings for one of his team mates and especially _Clint_ for a long time, kind of surprised him nevertheless.

“I’m flattered, really, but…” He started, both hands raised in a gesture that usually came with a ‘sorry, but’ and a sheepish grin of his but he was interrupted, before he could finish.

“No more ‘buts’. Cupid kissed Hulk back. That means Cupid likes Hulk too, doesn’t it?” And before the archer had even the chance to reply, the Hulk kissed him again, He kept one hand in his neck to hold him there while he carefully pressed their lips together in a way that shouldn’t be as hot as it was. The strange sweet taste filled his mouth and there really had to have been something in there because his skin started to tingle where the Hulk’s fingers pressed into his neck and the air around them seemed to be getting hotter. It definitely couldn’t be the hot pair of lips mouthing at his chin and then sliding deeper to kiss his exposed neck or the large hand finding its way under his shirt. But at the same time he couldn’t deny that it felt good, surprisingly good. His own fingers carded through the black hair surprised by how soft it was. In the back of his mind he knew that he really shouldn’t be doing this in the living room of the common floor and an even tinier voice reminded him that he shouldn’t be doing this at all. But right now he couldn’t come up with a reason, probably because he was focusing on a whole range of different things right now.

He twisted in Hulk’s lap and instinctively helped these large hands get rid of his baggy shirt without tearing it, _he liked his shirt okay_ , it was the last of his purple shirts that wasn’t completely worn out and ugly if this ripped he’d have to wear hoodies instead. Then, grinding his hips down, he took his turn to kiss the other male’s neck. The sweet taste was even more prominent here and even though he usually wasn’t a big fan of sweet things – except for donuts, everybody loves donuts – it seemed to be all he could wrap his mind around. Underneath him he could hear the Hulk breathe heavily and his hands were for a moment resting uncertainly on Clint’s hips like he didn’t quite know where to get from here.

“What do you want, big guy?” The archer asked, figuring he should still make sure the other knew where they were going. Not that he had any more objections at the moment because despite his rational mind telling him how wrong it was, he was too turned on to think much about it. And he could feel the Hulk’s crotch against his own and there was no question whether or not he was the only one. The green man hesitated for a moment, then looked him straight in the eyes and said: “You. Hulk wants to do this with you.”

And, wow, not that he hadn’t expected anything of the sort but he was impressed by how clear the thought actually was on the other’s mind. When the large hands started pawing hat his arse however, he tore his lips away from the green shoulder he had been kissing to hurry and slither out of his jeans. They _were_ worn out but he’d still miss them. He pushed the Hulk’s fumbling hands aside and helped him with his own zipper. Clint sucked in a sharp breath as he saw the large bulge in the other male’s briefs. Of course it had to be proportional, what else did he expect really? It was just _big._ The too tight briefs were out of the way in a second and god he was not just big, he was huge. It made his mouth go dry. And there was literally no way this thing was going up his arse, at least not without a shit-ton of lube and a hell lot of preparation. For a brief moment he thought that he should maybe invest in a plus sized dildo, not that this was ever going to happen again, but just in case…

The Hulk’s hands were still roaming his body, the touch heating him up even more until he felt like it was too hot but at the same time not hot enough. As gracefully as he could, he slipped off the other male’s lap to kneel in front of him instead. He had sucked cock before and he was pretty good at it – hint: his big mouth wasn’t only good for getting him into trouble – but he doubted he would be able to fit anything but the head into his mouth. Not that it mattered: He just wanted a taste. The green eyes followed his every movement but ultimately let him proceed, parting Hulk’s thighs and licking a stripe up the hot flesh. The saltiness contrasted the sweet taste from before but he didn’t mind at all.

Clint made an effort of mapping the thick length with his tongue and generously coating it with saliva before he wrapped his hands around it and finally moved to the top. He was right in his assumption that he could barely fit the head in his mouth without having to unhinge his jaw or something. But it was obviously good enough judging from the loud groaning and panting he earned in return. Looking up he saw that the Hulk was still watching him with narrowed eyes and he would’ve smirked if his lips weren’t stretched around the biggest cock he’d had in his life. Using his tongue and teeth he worked the head while stroking him leisurely with his hands. _He couldn’t even wrap one hand entirely around it._

It seemed to do its trick because after a while the hands tightened around his shoulders and the big guy began to aimlessly rub his thumbs over his collarbones in an entirely too normal and human gesture. Then he stopped and instead dragged him up by his shoulders, back on his lap. For a moment Clint was confused but then their shafts rubbed together and all he could do is bite his lip not to moan. It’s a delicious friction and he rolled his hips a bit experimentally, dragging their cocks against each other. They were both breathing heavily when the archer reached down to help out with his hands, stroking the both of them together as best as he could.

“Let Hulk do.” The big guy breathed out before gently pushing his hand aside. And if he was worried for a moment that his dick would get crushed in the process, he quickly forgot about it when the touch was almost too gentle but at the same time felt so, _so_ good. The hot lips attacked his shoulder again, kissing and sucking a little bit but never enough to bruise the skin. He still was the glass sculpture that had to be treated carefully or else it would break and the Hulk never broke one of his figures. He could be careful and gentle and entirely trustworthy if he wanted and Clint felt it with every stroke that brought him closer to the edge.

He pressed a hand to his mouth as he came, muffling every sound that might escape. He didn’t want to risk alarming the other or anyone else who might be within earshot. The Hulk grunted when Clint reached down to jerk him off a bit more roughly, tightening his grip until he heard him roar underneath him. He coated both their stomachs with at least an ounce of milky white come, it shimmered slightly greenish but it could as well be just be an effect created by the artificial lighting. Exhausted he sagged against the Hulk for a moment and found himself pressing a few soft kisses to his muscular chest.

“You liked that?” He asked quietly while he tried to convince himself to get up and head for the shower.

“Hulk liked it very much. Did Cupid like it too?” Clint only nodded before he forced his muscles to obey his command and sat up straight.

“How about we take a shower and then go back to that episode we were watching? The popcorn is still waiting for us in the kitchen, you know. It’d be a shame if some hungry god came and stole it away, don’t you think?”

 

The Hulk ended up carrying him to and back from the shower even though Clint insisted that he could walk on his own two legs. It was okay as long as no one else saw them – Jarvis excluded because he/it? Saw everything but the archer was pretty sure he wouldn’t tell. They managed to watch two more episodes of Dog Cops, including the one they kind of missed due to being a tad… distracted. Only then did Tony show up again. Still clad in his dirty suit he popped into one of the comfortable armchairs and let out an exhausted groan.

“You two seem happy.” He said with suspiciously narrowed eyes. But Clint only shrugged.

“What about the antidote? I kind of want the big guy off my back by now.” The genius looked at him for a moment, then he grinned his usual smug grin that the archer wanted so much to just wipe off his face. “You know what I found out when I did a few more tests on the substance? It’s extremely short lived. The effects should wear off after about…” He glanced at his watch. “Yeah, after about half an hour. Which means our Golly Green Giant is completely fine by now, he’s apparently just found another hobby in clinging to you.”

Clint directed his glare first at Tony, then at the big guy next to him who suddenly had the most innocent expression on his face. “What about its effect on humans?” He questioned further, though he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know the answer.

“Effect on humans? I don’t know if you listened the first time it was explained, Katniss, but it only attacks cells with gamma radiation.” The archer flipped him off and then heaved himself up from the couch.

“I need to get away from you, Stark. I can’t stand seeing your face any longer.” He stalked through the living room and towards the stairs. Before he disappeared through the door though, he turned around. “Hey big guy, I’m gonna grab a few donuts, wanna come with?”

-the end-


End file.
